From the Family Law Letter November - December 2003

Divorce, Dixie Chicks Style?

Do restraining orders offer real protection?

Well, she finally got the nerve to file for divorce
She let the law take it from there
But Earl walked right through that restraining order
And put her in intensive care
“Goodbye Earl” by Dennis Linde

On the Dixie Chicks’ gold CD Fly, Mary Anne and Wanda choose an odd remedy for domestic violence: black-eyed peas. We like the music, but not the recipe. Fortunately, there are more appropriate—and legal—tools available to protect victims of domestic violence.

In New Hampshire, any person who faces a credible threat from a current or former family member or partner can seek a restraining order under RSA 173-B. Sad to say, our office has much experience assisting both men and women in obtaining such orders. But as Mary Anne and Wanda might ask, can a paper order really protect anyone from domestic violence?

Where human behavior is concerned, there can never be any guarantees. But given appropriate precautions, our answer is a qualified “yes.” If you ever face a situation where you need a restraining order, here are some specific precautions you can take to protect yourself once the order is issued.

Enforce the order strictly. Call the police to enforce the order the moment there is any actual or threatened violation. Prompt calls are essential. Under RSA 173-B:9 a person who violates a restraining order can be arrested and jailed until a court hearing whether or not the violation occurred in the presence of a police officer—provided the arrest is made within 6 hours of the incident.

Be prepared. Always have a copy of the protective order with you. Make extra copies to keep in your home, office, car, and anywhere else you expect to spend time. Always have a copy on your person.

Have weapons removed. Tell the police about any weapons in your house when the perpetrator is arrested so the police can remove them.

Help police protect you. Give copies of your protective order to the police departments in the communities where you live, where you work, where you often visit friends, and in any other place you occasionally or frequently visit.

Keep your shield up. Your protective order may be valid out of state: under the Constitution of the United States, your protective order is generally entitled to full faith and credit by other states. But ask the police where you’re visiting or staying if you need to register your order in their state courts as a foreign decree (an order issued by another state). Then confirm that the police have registered your protective order with the state registry of protection. Call the police to check.

Don’t take chances. Call the police, domestic violence program, or your attorney if you have any problems.

Weave a safety net. Tell your minister, your employer, and your friends and neighbors about the protective order. Once they know, they’ll be looking out for your safety.

Get the help you need. If you have a problem and the police do not help, call your attorney to file a complaint with the chief of police. If necessary, file a private criminal complaint at the court where you obtained the protective order.

Get protection when you may be at risk. For instance, request police assistance if either party needs to retrieve possessions from a home you shared.

These guidelines are based in part on a Safety Plan from Bridges Domestic & Sexual Violence Support Services in Nashua, NH, with permission.